Someone Like You

I just had this uncontrollable urge to write about the special someone in my life. Not that anyone would be interested, seeing as this blog here had two hits last month, one when I checked to see if it had undergone disuse atrophy, and another when my niece hit the keyboard when I was not looking. OK, back to the topic. This post is about the nicest human being I know, the person I love the most in this world, myself*.

1. I cannot stand black umbrellas. In fact, I find all single colour umbrellas unappealing, but black is particularly disliked.



2. My umbrella features a skinny girl with long braided hair and a messenger bag slung across her body cycling to Marseilles.

3. This often leads to speculation that the girl on my umbrella is me. It is not. My hair is much longer, mine is an excursion bag, I have never been to France (although I would love to someday) and I cannot ride.

4. Yes, I cannot ride a bicycle. Or any other two-wheeler, for that matter.

5. Speaking of bags, I am not much of a handbag person.

6. I love rice.

7. I hate the great big ball of fire in the sky.

8. I think geckos are kinda cute.

9. Despite being a Hindu, I relish the cooked flesh of dead cows.

10. I cannot pose for a picture properly.


11. I often cannot recall what I have said just seconds earlier.

12. I am sorely tempted to poke people who say 'OMG, don't you eat anything at all?' in the eye with a 16 gauge needle. No, I just stand outside and inhale the scents during mealtimes. Retards.

13. I am not entirely sure if I am superstitious about the rahukaalam. But I strongly believe in putting off everything that can be put off for as long as possible.

14. My least favourite dress style is the one that I am forced to wear most often.

15. I read an abridged comic book version of Dracula when I was eleven, and I still have nightmares about the Count. And now I really wish I hadn't performed a Google image search for 'Dracula'.

16. In general, I don't care for clothes or jewellery much. When my friends talk about 'that blue dress with tiny yellow flowers' they wore 'that day' with 'the silver and blue earrings', I will smile and nod, but I will have no idea what they are talking about.


17. Shoes are my Achilles heel.

18. Either there is something significantly wrong with me, or I am a hypochondriac.

19. I am a borderline misanthrope.

20. I have never seen Sholay.

21. I don't like the colour pink.

22. I don't own any nail polish, but there is always a bottle of nail polish remover on my dresser.

23. There is a mole on my left forearm that was not there last year.

24. I am the proverbial 'will not hurt a fly' kind of person, and will go to a lot of trouble to save an ant from a watery grave in the sink, but I can dig up no compassion for mosquitoes.

25. I love to play with words and numbers in my head.

*Not quite who you were expecting, eh?